Esther

It is quite amazing that Donna asked me to help facilitate with her in our ladies bible class. I am thrilled, I am scared, I am anxious, and with the group of wonderful women, I have to admit that I feel a bit unworthy. That's my gaping insecurities showing through. Ringing loud and clear! How providential that our introductory night of Beth Moore's study of Esther highlighted all of those insecurities.

I know I will be blessed by this study. I know that the people I am associating myself with will help me recover from the shame of my past. I know that God has blessings for me and for my life - I believe that with all my heart. I know that it doesn't "all work out" the way I think it will - or that I think it should.

The most amazing part about all of this is that I can only imagine the shock that my previous colleagues would have on their face if they knew I was put into this position. That is a testament to the sin in my life. That often brings more shame and guilt on me than I can bear. It brings me to my knees knowing how far away I was from God. I know my God forgives - I know that my God loves me - and He protects me - and His grace saves me. I also know the consequences of my past decisions - how often it is just difficult to forgive myself.

This is my prayer for this study - God please allow me to forgive myself and be a perfect witness to your work in my life. - AMEN!