40 Years... WOW

40 years ago today I was born. I just can't fathom being 40. I know I'll look back on this day as I have others (I can't believe I'm 20...30...35...) and so it goes. I didn't know how it would hit me, but I am optimistic.

This I do know: I am not curled up in a fetal position like I did when I turned 30. It took me quite a while to recover from that birthday in 2000. I never expected that date to affect me... to bring me down. But now that I approach 40 with nothing but enthusiasm it is clear to me. At 30 I felt that I had accomplished nothing. I felt that I had basically wasted a decade. My 20's were very non-eventful. There are entire years in the 1990's that are not defined by anything. My 30's however, now those years were eventful. In a period of merely 10 years I rose to heights in my career... I traveled all across Europe, and Australia, and Mexico, and the Philippines. I moved to the "big city". But most of all, I experienced the greatest miracle of my life in the birth of my baby.

Oh how I still shutter to think of the plan God had for me when I was moaning in 2000. He knew all along - and he withstood my self-pity and loathing. He tolerated my selfishness, and ingratitude. He stayed right beside me when I turned my back on him. And he opened his arms and hugged me so tightly (I can still feel it) when he welcomed me back. He "Ran to me"...

In the past year especially, I have learned how fragile life is. I have learned to take nothing for granted. I have learned to care less about me and more about Him. I have learned that life is more than the world's version of "success". And I have lived to testify that God's definition of "Success" brings perfect peace, while the world's definition, when attained, provides heartache and regret.

And what will I say at 50? Well, I don't want to rush things - but bring it on!